Episode 243: Brawl Brothers

Sometimes, you can’t settle things with words. Sometimes, things get to the point that nothing can solve your differences with your rivals other than a good old fashioned brawl. And if you’re going to be fighting anyway, you might as well dress up as M. Bison right? Gives you the psychological edge, even if it doesn’t give you the psycho power.

Episode 210: Splatterhouse

It's the spook-spook-spookiest time of the year!

Join us on a quest through a madhouse, full of things that go splat!  Don the mask of the season, and pick up your preferred weapon (a large stick), and wade through the hordes of seasonal enemies.  Featuring such terrors as... spiky turtles, chained up zombies, and leech... things.  Festive!

Episode 184: Woah. I Know Kung Fu. [Flying Dragon: The Secret Scroll]

Embark on an epic kung fu odyssey to avenge your master.  Juan, truly the best teacher, wrote all of his secrets down on scrolls, but never gave any to his only student, Ryuhi.  When they all get stolen, Ryuhi finds the best scroll, like no scroll ever was, and goes on a killing spree to get the other ones back.  Righteous!

Dragon download straight to the face!

Show Notes

(01:30) Legit promotional material put out for Kung Fu Panda.

(03:00) Probably the BTAS episode Geremy's talking about.

(04:15) Justice League vs. BTAS. Mr. Sims rants about how got the intro is.

(15:00) Fox fun!

(18:00) I'm not linking Galgun again.  You have Google.

(25:00) Because Fire Emblem needs more bunnies.

(34:30) Not dying is hard.

(42:00) The ZeRo match Tyler was talking about, if you can stand ZeRo's voice.

(37:45) Not our poll, but we should contribute to SCIENCE! Pick the best Starburst.

(53:00) Kung Fu Time!

(1:02:00) How does this game rank up?

Next time on Last Time, Wonder Boy in Monster Land!

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Episode 166: Three Dragons Aren't Better than Two [Double Dragon 3: The Sacred Stones]

Never before have Bimmy and Jimmy™ been capable of such great flying throws.  Be in awe of their ability to... be hit from slightly above, but be unable to throw a punch diagonally, so then you get stunlocked and...  Anyway, the two dragon warriors are at it again to save their apparently not dead girlfriend from the clutches of some sort of crime boss.  Also, to avenge their master.  Sadly, jumpkicking remains the best available strategy.

Triple the double download!

Next time on Last Time, Psychonauts!

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Episode 155: High School Gang Simulator [River City Ransom]

Nothing says high school like roving bands of delinquents ruling the streets and banding together based on themed names. Well, at least not in Japan, that is. Here, people can just kidnap innocent girls and hide them in the farthest room to the right, and the only way to afford text books is to punch your enemies so hard they explode into bus fare. Still not sure what the ransom was, though...

Download so hard you earn money?!

Show Notes

(02:00) Your trap card isn't activated!

(05:30) Are good at drawing?  Now you can summon monsters!  Unless they're not a creative color.

(12:30) Marie best girl.

(15:00) Talking about some technical problems with Pokémon GO.  It's now Marco without the Polo.  These problems are, or course, distinct from the design problems.

(29:45) Melee at EVO 2016 was poofy.

(31:00) Nash players rock.

(32:30) Legend of Legacy sounds cool, but is kinda mediocre.

(42:30) Gerem, the revered high school brawler, takes to the streets.  Take that, The Generic Dudes!  It's pretty shiny for a beat 'em up.

(50:00) Beaten to death with rankings.

Next time on Last Time, Mega Man IV!

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Episode 140: Swamp Steve [The Adventures of Bayou Billy]

One man's swamp is every man's death trap. For as much as people make fun of Australia as being a place where all life evolved to kill humans (except koalas, I suppose), swamps are pretty deadly. There are blue shirted guys, scuba guys, guys with rocks, croco-guy-les. Truly, the deadly forces of nature are arrayed against our brave hero, who just can't seem to G-R-A-S-P how to effectively fight in the bayou.

Downloads make better weapons than Billy's fists.

Show Notes

(02:45) Pennies are inefficient.

(07:10) OMG Slimes!  Slime Rancher is super adorable and shaping up to be a pretty great game.  It's currently only got about 4-6 hours of content, but it's got a lot of potential and the devs appear to be really dedicated.

(12:30) Want to blow a few minutes finding Waldo?

(26:30) Who actually wants to control their trained fighters?

(31:30) ASU is not actually in a swamp, in case you're curious.

(35:00) 3 different game types!  Punching, shooting, and drive-shooting!

(39:00) Amanda Conner actual does cool arts.

(41:00) Don't cry any crocodile tears over this rating.  Too much?

Next time on Last Time, Mega Man II!

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Episode 133: A Big 2D Sidescrolling Boss Fighter Guy [Street Fighter 2010]

There comes a time in the life of every brawler/scientist where the science takes a back seat... to JUSTICE! Yes, our most esteemed physicists are often known for equipping themselves with cyborg enhancements and jumping through time/space portals all over the place to combat alien evils. Actually, why don't we currently live in this, the objectively better, of realities? I would love to throw a hadouken with every punch. We can only dream...

Every two downloads enhances your downercut.

Show Notes

(02:45) Turns out, the secret to d'gons is Stillness.  That stupid Transience strat is weak sauce.

(08:00) Everyone died the week we recorded this.

(13:30) Petalburg Gym's differences at a glance: RS vs. E.

(16:00) A bit of backstory.

(19:00) Brazil is weird.

(23:00) Sweet ninja moves, Ken!

(37:30) Rankercut!

Next time on Last Time, Balloon Fight!

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Episode 126: They Don't Make Axes Like They Used To [Golden Axe]

An arcade classic and early port for the Genesis, Golden Axe is considered one of the best games on the system. Hack, slash, toss potions of ultimate(-ish) power, and ride some cool lizards! Also, you can play as the sexy... dwarf! Man, that beard. Cross the hazardous landscapes of giant animals' backs with us!

You need 4 potions to use the full download.

Show Notes

(03:30) Alex shares her thoughts on New Leaf.  Kapp'n's great!  Too bad you are forced to rule these rubes.

(13:30) We did GO Bank!  Finally!

(14:30) People really whined about Crimefest this year, but a surprising number of people enjoyed it.

(18:30) Silly translations.

(22:00) Geremy talking about MGS V online.

(25:30) Deadlock.  Hint: we don't think the Genesis wins.

(26:40) Diving into Golden Axe.  We start with potions.

(28:00) Standard beat 'em up problems: enemy hitboxes are wonky (both hitting you and being hit), mobility is limited, gameplay is colorful but mechanically shallow.

(35:00) Running the ladder.

Next time on Last Time, Gley Lancer!

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Episode 114: Escargot Around Every Corner [Alien Storm]

Fight some ugly nosed noble-tier aliens with us this week by... pistol whipping them!  No need to waste ammo, kids.  You'd really think a game with a Tesla Cannon would be cooler.  Because EVO, we talk hit a bunch of fighting games before hitting those aliens, and we wander around mechs for a bit.  In the end, we finally upset our ranking list a fair bit.

Like a bolt of alien lightning, our download shocks straight to the hard drive.

Show Notes

(03:00) Zero's last match at EVO this year.

(05:45) Woshige FTL.

(08:15) They Bleed Pixels!  If you like really hard platformers, this is one for you.  Also, eldritch horrors are adorable.

(12:00) Luffy can't be a thief; he's too busy punching things.

(17:15) Geremy's reactions to Metal Gear Solid 5: Ground Zeroes.

(24:55) Some sort of aliens.  It's like 3 mediocre games got smashed together!  Arguable the best portion is a side scrolling shooter, which you only get to do once as far as we could tell.

(33:40) Starting the rankings this week with Fire Emblem, followed by Xanac.  Bringing up the rear (but also really not) is Chrono Trigger!

Next time on Last Time, Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2 for the Master System!

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Episode 81: No Ninja, No Ninja, No [Legend of Kage]

Super jumping ninjas are a lot less cool when they die in one hit.  Or when they can't change their jump arc because of the committed relationship.  Or when their sword arts don't have lightning effects.  They're still ninjas, though, which is pretty awesome.

Our download can cling to trees.

Show Notes

(05:00) Game shows and trivia!  Coincidentally the element krypton is not named after the fictional planet.

(07:20) Finally, the end of Grandia.  The usual tropes apply.

(08:00) Mole people have great potential!  They'll dig their way to the heavens!  Who the hell do you think they are?!

(09:00) Payday 2 did a reward balance.

(12:40) Phoenix Wright has some weird opponents.

(13:45) Undead & Undressed, the game about undressing vampires in broad daylight to kill them.

(15:10) Destiny!  It's a game, apparently!

(17:10) The LoL lore reboot is a bit disappointing.

(21:30) Fallout: Equestria!  Apparently both a tabletop RPG and a huge fanfic base.

(31:00) Gone Home seems pretty cool.  Still.

(33:00) Troll WIZARDS!

(34:40) Magic Power Rangers?

(37:30) I Am The One Who Knocks is waaay easier than Full Measure.

(38:30) Power Rangers/Sailor Moon crossover needs to happen.

(40:10) 8-Directional shuriken is not as good as metal blade.

Next time on Last Time, Asteroids and Galaga!

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Episode 78: Anime Minus The Anime [Renegade]

Sometimes, you have to fight the power. Sometimes, the power is other people fighting the power. Sometimes, you can't handle the power... or the motorcycle segments. Sadly, you don't have a buster sword, because it would really help there. Anyway, get ready to beat 'em up. Beat all of them up!

Our download has a unique dialogue sequence.

Show Notes

(01:45) Biz Markie, not to be confused with Otto von Bismark.

(06:00) Zach's possibly going to be going up in League rank.

(07:30) Physics cries when you play Street Fighter IV.

(09:10) Man At Arms, defiler of watermelons.

(14:20) Kingdom of Loathing now has slightly slicker sticks.  Yup.

(19:00) The DM's plight: getting characters to take bosses seriously.

(21:30) Shottagan!

(24:30) Controls are similar to Double Dragon.

(29:20) Screen transition health replenishment!

Next time on Last Time, The Ignition Factor!

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Episode 57: The Raaage of the Streets! [Streets of Rage]

Like all good government employees in videogame worlds, when the streets are nothing but death and crime, they quit their day jobs and take vigilante justice to the streets.  Unfortunately, they left their weapons at home, even though the backup is apparently authorized to use napalm bazookas.  Let's fight it out!

You only get one download per life.  Thankfully, you usually respawn once a day.

(00:45) We may have collectively been watching a lot of anime recently.

(06:00) Because we don't have enough cheesecake.

(07:30) The origins of Thor!

(11:00) Arguments: invalidated.

(12:30) All the things!

(17:50) Speaking of multiplayer only games.

(21:30) Batman's musical endeavors.

(23:30) While trying to find news about actual AoT games, I found this.  It's good.  Play it.

(25:30) Game design: make every 10 seconds enjoyable.

(26:00) Geremy laments ACIV

(29:00) Try typing zerg rush into Google.

(33:30) As it happens, Streets of Rage is a brawler.  You can move in a vaguely 3D plane, hit people, throw people, and be hit by people.  Also, TARDIS turkey!

(40:00) The biggest brawler sin: lack of character advancement.

Next time on Last Time, Vigilante 8!

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Episode 37: Master of English, Hahahahaha! [X-Men]

In a world where people mutate to be able to shoot lasers n' stuff somehow, some of those people are dicks. Some of these dicks also happen to be Master of Magnet! Help us disco laser him, X-Chicken!

Welcome to download!

(01:00) Other X-Men games.  Tyler's got a vanilla Minecraft server up constantly; email him if you want in.  Zach's been playing The Bigs 2, an arcade baseball game, which is way cbetter than Bases Loaded.  We talk about Zelda timelines for a bit, so go watch this thing +Edgar Diamond found.

(08:45) We talk about Mass Effect 2 compared to Bioshock for a bit.

(12:00) Pokemon.  Because of course.

(17:30) Hearthstone.  Their landing page says it all.

(23:00) All the goofy things this game says.  Just... this.  There's also a plot, I think.  Xavier seems to like ranting about it, at least.

(30:00) Mutant powers!  All the bosses monologue, which is just great.

(40:00) Between the Japanese and the American version, the Japanese has powerups and is therefore superior.  As an added bonus, this game is up to 6 players.  It's pretty mediocre aside from the camp, though.

(44:00) Wolverine is headmaster.  That explains the wonderful decisions the students regularly make.

Next time on Last Time, Punch-Out!!...!

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Episode 36: Guys Who Turn Into Guys Without Shirts [Altered Beast]

This week we look at possibly one of the sweetest games ever!  If it were an anime, that is.  Turn into a werewolf, dragon, and a golden werewolf as you fight an evil dude to save Athena!  Because Athena would totally need saving!

Watch out!  It's changing into a... download?!
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Episode 21: Get Your Brains On [Zombies Ate My Neighbors]

This week we're getting into our backyards and saving totally oblivious neighbors.  It's Zombies Ate My Neighbors!  Grab your super soakers and terribly dated 3D glasses (excluding the Doctor) and shoot some horror themed enemies!

Brains... Downloads...

(02:20) Forza 4's Warthog!

(05:00) 08th MS Team is a pretty decent guy who only afraids of some things.  Freakin' Invincible.

(07:20) WWBP!  Idle diversions are fun!  Fire Emblem Awakening is pretty sweet.

(11:30) Golden league Jigglypuffs!

(16:30) Direct sequels to games that don't normally have them.  I'm looking at you...

(19:30) Platypus Bear!

(21:00) Zombie time.  For reference, Geometry Wars.

(25:50) State of Decay.  It sounds pretty amazing.  It's like a more complicated, but not MMO, DayZ.

(27:30) Not the picture we were talking about, but amusing.

(32:00) Convenience over ammo.  It's a pretty decent mechanic.

(35:20) We mention it being frustrating and hard a couple times.  It's worth noting that it's not really hard, so much as just tedious.

(40:30) Record of Agarest War.  If you like Disgaea, you'll like this.

Next week, Super Dodgeball!

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Episode 17: At Least the Art is Pretty [Comix Zone]

If you were a kid in the 90s, you probably wanted to be sucked into your favorite videogame or comic book and be the hero.  You could fight off the ravening hordes, have fun with your favorite characters, and generally be awesome.  Sounds fantastic, right?  Well, they made a game of that.  Unfortunately, I think we've learned that such daydreams are usually best left in the mind of the creator.

Get sucked into our crazy Download world!

(03:10) We talk about sweet games we've been playing.  Sweet!  You can check out the Bronze League Heroes channel and see some SC2 shenanigans.  Chameleons are weak to boomerangs.

(10:30) Tyler's hardcore Minecraft server.  Not really worth mentioning, but as of this episode dropping, it's already gone due to stealth zombies.  Also, I recommend Terranigma.

(12:00) The problems with brawlers.

(14:20) Watch this until about the 16s mark.  Pretty much the entirety of Zach's Deadpool strategy.  Also, CVS2.

(20:20) Comix Zone!  It... has multiple endings?  I feel like we've shot the Liefeld target a couple times, but here's a reminder.

(28:00) Inconsistent themes are inconsistent.  Also, I like wasting your time, and so does this gameLuke Skywalker is a good example of many tropes.  Aerith and Bob!

(35:00) End bosses and disappointment.

(42:00) Why Viewtiful Joe is way better than Comix Zone.

Next week, it's F-Zero.  You can get it on the Wii things and race your Falcon heart out!

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Episode 9: Ninja Legends Suck [The Legend of the Mystical Ninja]

Once a decade, when the moon is full and the spirits are restless, the lone ninja rises from the shadows to quell the growing unease in the world. Then his fat companion trips on the way up the hill and ruins the scene. This week, it's The Legend of the Mystical Ninja, who, as it turns out, isn't really all that mystical.  He does fight an octopus horde, though, so that ought to be good for something.

Download it before it ninjas away

(1:00) What we've been playing.  *SPOILERS* Geremy's been playing the stuff he was last episode.

(3:40) Mystical Ninja, with no articles, is a much better game than this.  It has bazookas.

(6:15) We start getting into the meat of this.  How generic is this game?  Very.

(10:35) Ewww... I got some Japan on my game.

(13:33) Difficulty and enjoyable challenge, and why they're not necessarily the same thing.

(17:05) Co-op is good, surprising everyone.  One person even had a heart attack upon hearing that.

(19:25) Biting off more than even Goemon's comically large mouth can chew in game design.

(20:35) Theme vs. The Translators vs. Disjointed Plot.  This game is filled with things that have no purpose.

(23:40) Grinding in my action game?  Soooo repetitive.

(26:35) Finishing thoughts and the ambition of ActRaiser.  At least this game looks good.

(31:15) Our apologies to the audience for this game.

Next time, it's Gunstar Heroes for the Sega Genesis.  You can rest assured that, if nothing else, this game is not as large a waste of money as our ninja adventure.  Additionally, we're encountering a wandering guest host!

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Epsiode 5: Double the Action. Double the Fun. Double Dragon! [Double Dragon]

Do you like fighting thugs on the streets?  Rescuing/avenging your girlfriend?  G-R-A-S-P-ing moving objects?  These guys do!  Double Dragon time!

We're back again in the fifth episode with our first double feature.  After playing Double Dragon, we decided there wasn't enough to talk about for a whole episode, so we played Double Dragon 2: The Revenge as well!  See what all the dragon punching is about!

Download right here!

(1:50) Double Dragon!

(4:30) Double Dragon II: G-R-A-S-P  Or um… The Revenge.

(7:30) Weapons in Double Dragon I&II

(8:30) Awkward Platforming and why it kills games.

(13:00) Co-Op and Multiplayer in Games

(22:00) How to improve Double Dragon.  Aka why Batman is awesome.

Sorry for the short episode, but despite playing two games, we didn’t have all that much to say on them.  Next time, we shoot for the opposite problem with Final Fantasy.

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