Sega Master System

Episode 205: Alex Kidd in Shinobi World

During intense chakra training, Fi sensed a disturbance in the ninja world.  Seeing no other choice, she chose a hero from another world and bestowed upon him sweet ninja powers.  Also, she may or may not have orchestrated the abduction of that hero's girlfriend so he'd have incentive to deal with Ninja World's big bad.  That's the plot of this game, +/- 5%.  Join our not-Goku on a journey to the land of sweet ninjas, presumably laying somewhere to the west.

Hiden no justu: Daunrodo no Yari!

Show Notes

(01:30) DDM, the best monster-summoning themed game.

(02:45) Zach (and others) have been playing Xenoverse 2.

(09:00) The best border patrol is more guns.

(12:00) Geremy becomes the 400th person to recommend Kill la Kill to Tyler.

(23:00) You can watch sassy Frieza here.  We proceed to get distracted by Ultra Instinct for a while.

(30:00) Mo' ninjas.

(46:45) Alex Kidd in ranking land!

Next time on Last Time, Super Return of the Jedi!

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Episode 197: ADRIAAAN Is In Another Castle [Secret Command]

There comes a time in every actions star's career when they get to be a big enough name, that someone is bound to make a videogame based on the movie they were in.  In order to get the jump on other developers, some companies decided to just make the game, and apply licensing post-hoc.  As it happens, this tends to not make for the greatest games.  So, run through the jungle with us as definitely-not-Mr.-Stallone wades through hordes of bland and forgettable enemies to... do a thing?  Maybe aliens?

Our downloads take no prisoners.

Show Notes

(02:00) The Super… I mean, Sunman game Geremy was talking about.

(04:15) PubG… with Zmobies!

(06:30)  The new Star Guardian skins in League of Legends are Magicalgirltastic! Geremy updated his client and everything!

(11:00) Geremy tries to explain Danganronpa while realizing he’s almost completely uninformed about it! And yet he still manages to get pretty much everything right! I’d link something from it, but feel like everything is a spoiler. They're fantastic games that you should definitely go play, though.

(14:45) The Long Dark, another game Geremy fails to describe adequately.

(22:30) We talk about Dragon Ball for far longer than intended, thanks to Magical Girls.

(27:45) The Assignment, Secret Command, a.k.a Rambo

(32:45) The non-American box art to Secret Command, as compared to the Rambo box art in the US.

(37:15) Rankings Time!

Next time on Last Time, Metroid: Zero Mission!

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Episode 191: Big Hairy Feet [Fantasy Zone II]

Some times, one hit isn't enough.  You just have to do it again.  So, you take a sip of that sweet flying ship, and you're off.  Trippy landscapes and odd warp zones await you, and you can swear you have wings.  Which you do, because you're a sentient ship pod with feet.  Also, there are wood totems and weird spinny clam things to shoot, so you had best be off to do whatever it is winged/legged ships do.

The downloads of Opa Opa.

Next time on Last Time, Another World!

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Episode 188: Now Bikes Think They're Philosophizers [Enduro Racer]

Nothing is a metaphor for life quite the way racing over various obstacles within time limits is -- apparently.  Wheelie over jumps, dodge rocks, and pass other racers in your frantic attempt to make it to the finish line before there's no time left to try.  This is an experience that can only leave you thinking "Yay bikes".

Downloads are a metaphor for sound-noises.

Next time on Last Time, Golden Sun!

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Episode 185: Monster Bro [Wonder Boy in Monster Land]

There comes a time in every young, skateboarding cave-boy's life to pick up the sword and shield of his ancestors and deliver a beatdown on some monsters.  Saving princesses is already second nature to young Wonder Lad, and it's time for the lad to become a boy!  Explore a surprisingly metroidvania landscape before it was really known as a thing, and try to figure out how ceramic armor works so well against swords.

Ceramic Download!

Show Notes

(02:00) This is what blast processing was. Very technical.

(06:00) Scrooge Vs Shovel Knight

(10:00) The Assignment: The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild. That came out in 1987 right? Potential spoilers.

(53:00) The actual assignment, Wonder Boy in Monster Land

(1:03:30) Geremy lied; Aladdin and the King of Thieves was not theatrically released, but Robin Williams did return to play Genie.

(1:04:00) Ranking Time

Next time on Last Time,  Postal 2!

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Episode 178: Miracle Balls [Alex Kidd: The Lost Stars]

In somewhat ironic tribute to itself, this series may be its own lost star.  Join us in wandering a variety of planes, magical worlds, and space New York in order to rescue the constellations of the zodiac from their fates inside of mundane objects!  Dodge monorail trains and fierce lightning while trying to guess what the next enemy with the exact same design does differently from the previous one.  Miracles!

LTOVG and the lost downloads!

Show Notes

(02:00) I thought Geodude were nearly as common as Zubat, but I was very wrong.  Also, Samson vs. Samuel Oak.

(04:30) Plot power! Legit question: Why is beast-warrior a monster type?  Birbs!

(17:30) Conan's god.

(37:00) I got distracted by the cool car.

(45:30) Fan mail!  Hi, Ryan!

(47:45) Over a year later, that jump glitch bounty is still open.

(50:00) The actual "game".

(1:03:30) Ranking among the stars!

(1:08:30) The stellar decision making you've come to enjoy.

Next time on Last Time, Planescape: Torment!

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Episode 152: Mediocre Mario [Wonder Boy]

Have you ever wondered how great life could be? Soaring through the jungles, hopping over oceans, exploring ancient tombs... It all sounds pretty great. When you actually get there, however, you may be perturbed at how much fruit you've eaten along the way.  Also, it turns out that you're not great at jumping, despite being a decent skateboarder.  Maybe a plumber would've been better for this.

You get bigger downloads after telekinesis powerups.

Show Notes

(02:30) Seriously, they just call her Lady.

(04:30)  We give him a hard time, but Kojima's brand of insanity is recognizable enough that it might be generously called "artistic vision".

(06:15) The "weapons that hurt you" video Zach was talking about.  Since recording, Tyler's revised his opinion on weapons in Spelunky to "if they're free, they're very useful".

(12:30) Fly like and eagle-dozer!

(21:00) I would watch a Let's Play of Zach in Alien: Isolation.  Who's with me?

(29:30) Wrastle, brother Nero!

(30:00) Onto Wonder Boy!

(43:45) With rankings similar to Bonk!

Next time on Last Time, Golf!

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Episode 115: Double Sonic, No Ice Cream [Sonic 1 and 2 Master System]

Probably the worst entry to the Sonic franchise thus far is our topic this week, along with its much better "sequel".  Join us on a 90s-tastic adventure as we attempt to discern whether the Master System could actually host Sonic games.  Also, some other stuff.  Tagline drop!

Tails pirated our download.

Show Notes

(01:00) Showing that we're definitely kids of the 90s by namedropping all the shows.  So many, in fact, that I have to write a second sentence about it.

(04:00) Clearly blue is greater than gold.  Speaking of which, much death, such battle.  Wow.

(21:30) Tibia!  It's (was) a game!

(30:30) Foreshadowing...

(33:00) Sonic time!  The first one is a poor port of the first game!

(35:00) Sonic 2 is actually not terrible!

(43:00) Gotta go rankings!  Crazy Taxi is crazy.  Snoozing away is Kirby's Dreamland.  Mortal Kombat finishes things off.

Next time on Last Time, Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back!

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Episode 85: Faster, Faster, C'mon, Faster! [Sonic Chaos]

Gotta go fast! Like, 800 km/h! That's pretty fast, kids! Apparently, our blue erinaceomorph friend is back again with springy tiles and rocket boards to go at least that fast. Somehow, Tails can keep up with him, which is pretty impressive. Go collect those emeralds or Eggman will get the last laugh (while cursing the fact that he has to get all those raw materials for building more robots again).

Our download clocks in at Mach 1, which is only 150% the speed Sonic can go in this game.

Show Notes

(01:45) ChaCha is terrible.

(05:45) Apollo Justice is pretty great!  Related: Azran Legacy was fun.

(08:45) *POTENTIAL SPOILERS* Walking Dead time!

(19:00) *END SPOILER TIME GO!*  Now, some GoT.

(22:00) LCS tales!  Also, Various Artists is the most prolific band ever.

(26:00) Superhero TV shows.  Also, comics!

Next Time on Last Time, it's Metroid 2!

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Episode 65: What Shoe Size Does Your Ship Have? [Fantasy Zone]

Every so often, there is a game so weird, bizarre, and nonsensical that it defies explanation. This... is not that game. While weird, Fantasy Zone is an ambitious but, lamentably, fairly predictable scrolling shooter. Let's get walking!

Just land here and walk on over to our download; it's only got a 10 second timer, though.

(01:45) Fire Emblem: Legend of the Abnormal Hair Colors!

(02:15) Japan has decidedly interesting advertising techniques.

(03:50) Mana Khemia's pretty good.  Go play it!

(06:50) Zach's Diablo II adventures.

(07:30) Geremy runs down the LCS.

(16:00) How team sponsoring works in the LCS.

(18:15) Games with Fantasy in their name have not had a great track record in this show.

(19:30) Really plays like some other games, but seems lacking.

(25:25) There are a few good ideas here, especially for the publication year.

(26:30) Non-sequitur: Blitzball!

(29:15) Weirdness overload makes this game seem rather bland.

(33:00) Why games didn't use to have tutorials: they were very simple.

(33:40) Tutorial levels.

Next time on Last Time, Street Fighter II!

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Episode 53: It's A Miracle This Game Was Made [Alex Kidd In Miracle World]

This week, we tackle the competitor to the original Super Mario Bros. on the Master System. Punch things, shoot fire waves, and ride motorcycle/bike objects to victory! By victory, I, of course, mean rice balls.

This download is much easier to reach if you can afford the right item at the mysterious shop.

No shownotes for you!

Next time on Last Time, Space Harrier!

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Episode 34: Future Ninjas Are Boring [Strider]

A lone ninja fighting through a dystopian neo-Russia against hordes of robotic minions and sweet airships sounds cool, right?  Right?

Walk this way to our download!

(01:00) Symphonic bliss. Terraria party! Geremy’s in Silver-3 in LoL, because we need more Fantasy Football comparisons.

(02:30) Possibly the best intro song ever. Meteos doesn't look as anime as I thought he would.

(04:30) Scribblenauts is now heroic.

(08:00) Everyone has an evil clone.

(10:45) Rune Factory 4 has a rating of 97/100 on IGN after 44 ratings right now.

(14:15) We really need that Genesis game checklist Geremy keeps mentioning.  Not a plug.  That conveniently ties in with our talk about feedback in games, though.

(19:00) Upgrades... this game has them, I guess.

(20:30) You'll hear a lot of the sword noise.  Also, the Genesis version looks so much better than the Master System.

(23:00)This game is a quarter sucker!  It also has awesome concepts, though.

(28:30) The sequels look awesome. We talk about horror games for a bit.  Relevant to that last link since Tyler always rants about it.

(32:00) Mutant League is awesome.

(33:15) We ran out of stuff to say about Strider, so we talk about the games/genres we would like to see more life injected into.

Next time on Last Time, it's Super Star Wars!  Grab it on the VC if you want to play along!

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Episode 13: "F" is for Fun, but "Ph" is for Phantasy Star [Phantasy Star]

Apparently this game is revered as a classic.  It certainly has classical game aesthetics.  Is it truly worthy of that title, though?  Hack n' slash your way through the futuristic bugbears of the Internet, and hear what we have to say about it!

Download the future here!

(00:30) That one segment we do where we talk about what we've been playing.

(06:40) Setting goals in games and how this relates to intentional obfuscation in games.

(13:20) We finally start talking about Phantasy Star.  In good form, we start with an apology.

(15:30) The plot hook!  Also some setting... I guess?  It's got good art direction!

(18:20) Combat and how you can't direct attacks.

(21:30) The economy of retries.

(24:45) Plot investment, or lack thereof.  This finally loops back around to our obfuscation rambling.

(29:05) Random encounters, outside of combat mechanics.  What constitutes grinding as opposed to normal progression.

(32:30) We talk about what's good in this game.  It's pretty and a bit snarky.

(37:30) The end of Zach's pledge!

Next week, we're bad enough dudes to shoot space zombie-demons.  Doom, the DOS classic, is available on everything, so grab yourself a copy and suit up!

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